Your kid found out you’re an escort. What now?

Your kid found out that you’re an escort, a sex worker, or a Sugar Baby. So, what’s next, what do you do now?

For most escorts that have kids, this is the most dreaded scenario, the thing that they fear most, not because of their line of work, but because what that will mean for their child in terms of bullying from other kids, neighbors and so on.

First, if you read this informatively, so that you know what to do if the situation occurs, take advantage, and use this time to pave your way to the moment when you’ll be faced with this type of talk with your child.

Teach your kids empathy from an early age and build a foundation of love and trust. And when the moment comes to have the hard conversations, these seeds that you’ve been planting since your child was a little baby, will show their worth.

See what he knows about a subject and start from there

Talk with your child, and we mean talk a lot, but use terms that he understands and don’t overwhelm him with information. Keep in mind his age, and always start by asking HIM what he knows about a topic. After you have an idea about his knowledge about that subject, you can start approaching it in a manner that he will understand it. Don’t use big words, don’t lose yourself in endless explanations, be brief, honest and to the point.

Talk about trust and never give him a reason to doubt you

Trust is the most important thing in any relationship, whether is a mother-child relationship, a friendship, or a partnership. That’s why is important to ALWAYS keep your word when you say or promise to do something, always treat your child as a person and not as a mindless baby, always do what you say you will do and always tell him the truth even if it may be uncomfortable for you.

Start this trust and honesty exercise since your kid is little and grow your trust from there. You will see that when the moment comes, even if he does not agree with your life choices, he will TRUST that you did what you thought was best for the both of you and he will believe in you.

Always be honest

He found out what your line of work is, and he feels ashamed, betrayed, angry? Let him feel that way, it’s his right to have certain emotions, don’t try to sugar coat the truth or “make it all go away”, because emotions are there to be lived, experienced and only after we’ve been through it all we can move on with a clear mind.

So, if he seems angry and aggressive towards you after finding out something about your job, that disturbs him, give him a little space. Let him dive into his big feelings for a couple of days and then find a way to talk to him. Find a neutral, safe space where you can talk and honestly tell him about your motivations and everything that you are feeling on that topic.

Acknowledge his emotions, tell him that you understand how he feels, that he feels hurt, betrayed, embarrassed, angry, furious, and so on, tell him that IT IS OK to feel that way and assure him that you love him and that you are there to answer all his questions.

When we are faced with big talks, with a big, uncomfortable revealing, with big emotions that cause distress, we tend to rush things, so that we can easily regain that sense of calm and normality before the storm. But for the storm to fully pass, you need to stay in it for a while. So, don’t be afraid of your kids emotions and reactions to the news, be there for him, be emotionally available, don’t put it on him (“I did this for you, for us, so that we can have a roof over out heads”), even if this is partly true, he doesn’t need to feel like he’s a part of the problem right now, and don’t argue or withdraw your love.

If the seeds of love and trust are there, you will see that after the storm has passed you child will return into your arms. He may not like what you are doing for a living, but at least you are a team once again. Don’t underestimate your children because underneath that small, fragile look, they are smart and powerful. Talk to them like to an adult, treat them with respect, hold your word and always tell them the truth.

And after that, you can sit together and think of ways to overcome the bullying from others, things he may do or say to protect himself and things that you can do together for the welfare of the family.